The Good Doctor


It's an honor to have been bestowed a link on Dr Pauly's poker blog! Now there's an actual chance others may read this drivel.

Playing a lot of NL100 Rush Poker on FTP...after an initial boost, it's been a slow, rollercoaster of a grind. Win $300, lose $250...lose $200, win $175. It wears on the mind, especially when work is sucking the proverbial fat one and all I can think about is "I wish I could play poker for a living, but how will that ever happen if my online bankroll hardly grows?"

I take beats, I play bad, I think about having to go to work the next day, and I get real mad/depressed. Reading the Elements of Performance section of Tommy Angelo's book has been helpful; I feel so calm & relaxed after reading those pages. Breathing is the best cure for tilt, and for avoiding tilt. I must make it part of my routine to read/breathe before every session.

Time to go play some more Rush, then the For Anna benefit tourney on Full Tilt at 10.

Also, if anyone wants to trade blog links, just leave me yours in the comments...thanks!

I Mean It This Time!

New Year's Resolution season is here! First let me take a look at my 2009 list of goals:

- Lose 30 pounds by June 1st...didn't make the 30, but I am down about 20 pounds from my high in January...I'm proud of my progress.
- Become a winning player at $5/10NL by December 31st...yeah, not so much! Still at $.50/1NL, but running at about 3BB/100 over my last 4,500 hands or so...more work to be done here.
- Qualify to play in a major live tournament, no later than the WPT at Foxwoods in November...this one didn't happen, but I did cash in a $300 buy-in tourney at Mohegan Sun last month.
- Post at least once per week...lol...but it looks like I didn't post any less this year, either.
- Improve my position at work (or find a new job) by June 1st...10% unemployment rates didn't help me here, but I'm always looking around, keeping my ears open at work, etc.

And now for the 2010 goal checklist:

- Weigh 220 lbs or less by our next trip to Vegas (sometime this summer)
- Become a winning player at $5/$10NL by December 31st (not giving up on this one)
- Qualify to play in a major live tournament, no later than the WPT at Foxwoods in November (...or this one!)
- Grow our monthly live tournaments at the Lounge (we're averaging around 12-15 entries, I'd like to see this up to at least 20 by year-end)
- Plan three major vacations (Las Vegas, Ocean City (MD), and To Be Determined)

What I'm already doing to accomplish these goals:

- Reducing my carb intake by eating less bread, pasta, potatoes, sweets, etc.
- Reading poker books, blogs, and articles (already 75 pages into Elements of Poker, which I got from my brother-in-law Steve for Christmas...thanks!)
- Reviewing prior poker sessions, talking over hands with Todd, sweat sessions, etc.
- Collecting cell phone numbers & e-mail addresses from new players, and sending out messages reminding everyone of the next tournament.

What else I need to do to accomplish these goals:

- Get back on the low-carb horse after New Year's...I behaved during Thanksgiving, but there was just too much good, starchy, sugar-laden food around me these last couple weeks for me to pass up!
- Get back to the gym...it's at the end of our driveway...c'mon man!
- Buy and read Treat Your Poker Like a Business...and then another poker book, and then another.
- Look into buying a membership to a poker training site...I've got tons of FPP's on Full Tilt I can use to pay for one.
- Play more "main event" qualifiers...Foxwoods, Mohegan Sun, maybe even the EPT stop in my dad's birthplace of Dortmund, Germany.
- Send out e-mail recaps of the Lounge tournaments...I used to do this for the private tournaments we ran online, and I think it kept everyone interested...numbers went down when I stopped the recaps.
- Don't waste my sick/vacation days on so many Mental Health Days...plan days off & use them to play in live tournaments and for vacations.

OK now, let me hear a big 'Whoa Bundy' on three!

Let's Put Some Positive Comments Into This Here Blog

Making a bit of progress with the poker...I'm probably down $25 or so this week playing cash games, but I did win a small MTT qualifier to tomorrow night's $80k Guarantee on Full Tilt. I may play it, or I may just bank the T$ for another time and hang out with my brother & neice instead.

Also started talking hands through with my friend at work, and he told me about the week of free videos on Deuces Cracked. Watched one so far, and now starting the Road to Robusto series by TubaSteve. Might not make it through the entire series, but at least I'll pick up some good fundamental training on things like table/seat selection, opening hand ranges, etc. Once the free week is over, I still have a handful of videos I downloaded from Poker Savvy before my membership ran out.

A group of us met with the new exec heading up our department at work (who also was my "big boss" when I first started this job back in 2007). It was refreshing to hear from someone who has a clue. When he first ran our area, we had something like 14 consecutive quarters of sales growth; his successors felt that many changes were needed, basically ignoring the old "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" mantra. Of course they ended up breaking up lots of relationships we had with other departments we rely on, cut our comp plan, and did everything else short of re-naming our area The Titanic. This recent recession/depression didn't help matters, either. Hopefully the new (old) leaders will make things right again, make it easier for us to do what we do, and pay us fairly for our accomplishments.

And I've managed to drop a couple more pounds...nothing dramatic, but progress nonetheless.

One-Way Ticket Out of Limbo

So I've been basically just treading water in life over these last few months. Looking back on my 2009 goals (lose weight, be a winning player at higher limits online, qualify for a major poker tourney, get a new job), the only one I've made a dent into is the weight loss. Jen & I started eating low-carb about a month or so ago, and we've lost about 10 pounds each, so that's something positive. My goal was to drop 30 pounds by June, but I'll be content if I'm there by year-end.

My online pokering has stalled. Even after watching a lot of training videos, constantly reviewing hands with a buddy at work (who's also serious about poker and even won a seat to the World Series main event this summer), and even paying for some group sessions with a respected poker coach...I'm no better than I was six months ago, or at least that's how I feel. I went from playing every night to not playing at all, protecting my psyche/ego from further beatdown. I couldn't go on having another crappy day at work, and follow it up with another online session ending with a two-outer or cooler or poorly-played hand. I'm not thinkly clearly when "in the moment." It's easy to look back and see that I should've folded that hand, I should've check-raised that one, etc. I need to get my brain on that next level and strategize, do a better job of hand-reading while I'm playing the hand. I know I'm smart enough to be a profitable online poker player, I just need to focus more, study more, want it more. It's easy to say you want to make gobs of money playing poker; it's another thing to put in the time and dedication.

Poor results online + making less money at work + little vacation time left = not plunking down a couple hundo here or there for live-tourney qualifiers. Enough said about that goal.

Job prospects have been few and far between, as to be expected in this economy. I thought I had a decent shot at a position within my company, but never heard a peep from the hiring manager. I thought I had more than enough qualities listed on my resume that would warrant at least a callback and/or a first interview, but nada. Rumor has it because so many people in my department had posted out for other jobs in the company, certain managers were told not to hire away too many of us. Of course I have zero proof of this, but I heard too many things from multiple people (both within and outside of the company) that I can't help but think that it might be true. I'd love to be able to call BS and confront the powers that be, but I know all I would get would be a denial. I'd definitely call their river bet with just ace-high. But all I can do is feel angry and slighted, grit my teeth and keep plugging away, hoping that the most recent re-re-re-realignment of my department within the company's organizational structure will bring positive change.

I keep thinking about switching careers, going into business for myself, having more freedom and flexibility in my professional life...and more money. But what would I do instead of working in the field I'm in now? Oh yeah, that's right, I was going to make money playing poker.

I've GOT to break that mental barrier and learn to be a better player. It feels like there's an internal wall I need to break down...I need to get that light bulb to burn, or that switch to flip, or whatever cliche you care to use. I need to have that "a-HA" moment in my head that allows me to implement strategies, exploit other's playing tendencies, put the pieces together during the course of a hand that helps me hand-read more accurately.

I've always had the feeling that I've underachieved, never used my intelligence to its full potential, and now I find myself stuck in a career with no clearly-defined career path. Poker has given me small tastes of success, but I haven't dedicated myself 100% for a long enough period of time to become a better player. I KNOW I can do it, I just need to buckle down and do it.

In 2009, I Resolve to...

- Lose 30 pounds by June 1st
- Become a winning player at $5/10NL by December 31st
- Qualify to play in a major live tournament, no later than the WPT at Foxwoods in November
- Post at least once per week
- Improve my position at work (or find a new job) by June 1st

More to come as they come to mind...2008 was a pretty crappy one on a lot of fronts, but poker was a bright spot. I need to build on my poker success and continue to learn, move up in limits, and make more money. It doesn't guarantee happiness, but money can certainly help alleviate that financially-related stress cloud that's been rumbling over me (and most everyone else, I know).